


"If being clean is a crime, then hang me."

by IggysNewRecipe



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, I love this ship, Teacher Hange, clean freak levi, i will die with this ship, janitor Levi, my family complains about me liking this ship but theyre christian so stleast it aint gay right, no bets im sead like man, school au, send help, this is thr last tag, what do they want from me, when u boutta fuck then he says "nah lets clean first"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24873838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IggysNewRecipe/pseuds/IggysNewRecipe
Summary: Levi finally gets to go to his girlfriend, Zoë, 's house. He's stoked til he sees the mess, then he is less stoked.
Relationships: Hange Zoë/Levi
Comments: 18
Kudos: 49





	"If being clean is a crime, then hang me."

**Author's Note:**

> if beig sexi is crime, then I am arrest

Levi was excited to go to his newfound woman's place, but he'd never say it to her face. He'd never been to her home before, but he was certain it'd look like how he expected it. It'd look just so.. Zoë.. He couldn't really have any other words for it.

So of course, he continued to follow the woman in question to her car. He normally walked to work anyway, so he might as well just take the car with her. The car was, as he guessed, super, very, Zoë.

There wasn't really any other way to explain it.

But.. Upon going inside of it..

"Oh gosh, sorry Levi, just throw that in the back!" She said hurriedly, referring to the empty milk carton on the seat.

Levi was silent.

"Why the hell is that even in here?"

"I like milk. Alot."

"Too much it seems." He said, taking the carton and, regretting it as he did it, throwing it in the back, and wait, was there still milk in there? He tried not to think about it.

There was so much more trash in the back as well that he could just barely manage to ignore it. He sat down in the seat and was discomforted when he felt something.. Almost wet on it.

"There was still milk in there. It might have seeped out." The science teacher explained to her janitor of a co-worker.

"That is so fucking disgusting." Levi said, getting out of the car.

'Heyy! Levi! Come baacck!!"

"No." Levi spat. "How do you even live in such filth? I'll walk to your place instead."

"But the trek is so far away!" Hange complained for him.

"Then it looks like there's two choices you have."

"Huh??"

Levi cocked a hip out and placed his hand upon it. "Let me clean your car."

Hange gasped dramatically. "Levi!! I couldn't ever make you do that!"

"Tch. When did I say I was doing it alone?"

The two were silent for some seconds.

"Or. I walk."

"No!!"

"Then choose something dammit! Which one?!"

Hange groaned loudly, clearly simply not wanting to do this right now. "Can we just go?" She whined, trying to recreate puppy eyes.

Unfortunately for her, he was immune to such things.

"Only if I walk or we clean your car."

Hange groaned and stepped out of her car before she turned it off. She glared at Levi once they were infront of each other. "Fine. We can clean my car."

Levi gave a slight smirk. "I'm glad you saw it my way."

*-*-*-*-*-*

"There. All done. Now look at your car."

"It looks great!"

"Wrong. It's only bearable for the moment. We're going to deep clean it when we have the chance."

"Just get the hell in already!" Hange yelled, shoving Levi into her car.

The drive to her place was fairly uneventful. They were both silent most of the ride, just enjoying one another's company with their hands intertwined as Hange drove.

Upon finally arriving, Levi saw that she lived in an apartment. Not unusual, he himself lived in one. Before Hange got out, however, she looked nervous.

They'd planned on this event for a whole ass week, so why was she so nervous now? Shaking her head, she and Levi released their hold on one another and got out of the car. Small greetings were had in halls as Hange made her way to her home with her boyfriend.

The two stepped in and, just as Levi thought, the place was so.. Zoë.

It looked clean, probably because of Levi's presence going to be there planned earlier on that week. It was a nice little place, he could see her kitchen was one with her dining room, as well as he'd seen a few doors.

Hange began setting her things down and Levi just. Stood there. Awkwardly.

"Nice place."

"Not as nice as yours I bet."

"Eh. Not as clean, that's about it though."

Hange chuckled airily and shook her head. Levi and his damn cleanliness.

"What're you laughing about?"

"Oh nothing. Just wondering why my short Asian decent boyfriend is so obsessed with being clean."

"I'll have you know that I am half German thank you very much."

"Ha! You don't look it at all!"

"Shut the fuck up umlauts."

"Okay Ackermann, with two n's."

Levi rolled his eyes then plopped on her couch as if he lived here all his life.

"Yeah just make yourself at home."

"Sure."

Hange sighed and shook her head with a chuckle. "I would say not really to make it a joke but I do mean it. We're one now so. Yeah."

"Yeah." Levi responded, understanding what she left unsaid.

When she finished placing what needed to be placed down where it needed to be, she decided to plop next to Levi.

"We should come up with nicknames Levi. Or should I say.. Wii-vi?"

"Don't call me that ever again, I think I'd die."

Hange huffed. "You could atleast pretend to like the idea."

"I already gave you a nickname."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I did, shitty glasses."

Hange groaned and rolled her eyes. "You're so stupid, ugh."

"You too, gorgeous." Levi replied calm and coolly, like he didn't just call her gorgeous.

Hange looked at him skeptically. "Thank you handsome." She said, testing the waters.

She was very surprised when Levi's face, ears, and neck all heated up. Wait- was he blushing?

"Tch." Levi said, getting up from the couch, looking away from her. Oh yes, he was so blushing now. God he's so cute.

"You're so adorable right now Levi."

"Shut the fuck up shit for brains."

Levi was pissed off. But deep down, though he'd never admit it, he enjoyed the compliments. He never really got them alot, so hearing them made his heart skip a beat.

Hange grinned dumbly. "I'm enjoying the view right now Levi." She said, reaching out to give his ass a good slap. He gasped and quickly turned around.

"What the hell has gotten into you dammit?! Shut the fuck up for once holy shit!" Levi glared, fury clear in his eyes. It was hard to take him seriously when his face was so red though.

"Ugh!" Levi groaned. Looking away again, now absolutely mortified by his reaction.

Hange only continued with the senseless teasing, not letting up until Levi said something under his breath, then kissed her. Hard. Very passionately too.

He slipped his tongue in her mouth, moving his hands all over her as he did, her returning the feelings too. Eventually they made their way into her bedroom. Levi had been ontop of her when he pulled back with a sigh.

"Zoë.. I'm sorry I just.. I can't.." Levi started.

Hange looked away, embarrassed at the thought of Levi even wanting to do this with her.

"I.. I under-"

"I can't fuck you while the room looks like shit." He said seriously.

Hange furrowed her brows for a few seconds. Damn. She really thought that Levi didn't want to make love with her, when in reality, he just didn't want to fuck in a dirty room.

She bursted out in laughter. Wiping a tear she finally was able to speak. "Man Levi you really had me there! You short clean freak!"

Levi scoffed. "You know what? If being clean is a crime, then hang me."

This only made her laugh harder to the point of where she began wheezing violently. Levi slapped Hange on the shoulder then got off of her.

"Either we clean now or we don't fuck. Make your choice."

Hange sighed after her laughing fit, then nodded at him.

"Okay okay, let's clean. Then we can make love."

Levi nodded at her words.

Hange giggled then pressed a soft kiss to Levi's cheek. "You're so not romantic at all, but it's so charming too."

Levi rolled his eyes. "Whatever.. Go get a mop you fuckin' nerd."

**Author's Note:**

> One time my brother said that Levi was a tasty Asian snack then I said "o yea he is" then my brother quickly realized what I meant and panicked


End file.
